The Paradigm Shift: Self-Trust, Knowing, and the Art of Deep Allowing
“Frustration equals early in the process.”
Let’s sit with that for a moment.
How often do we hit frustration and immediately think, something’s wrong, I’m failing, or I should know this by now? But what if frustration is just an indicator that we’re at the beginning of something? Not a sign of failure, but a marker of entry? That’s a game-changer.
The Dance Between Light and Shadow
There’s an undeniable paradox in the creative and personal growth process—moments of clarity followed by deep fog. One minute, we see everything; the next, we’re blind to it all. It’s not just light and darkness—it’s fullness, illumination, shadowing, and darkening. It’s both. Always both. And that’s where we get tripped up.
We expect that feeling anchored and strong means, we won’t simultaneously feel vulnerable, wounded, or uncertain. But the truth is, they coexist. They must. We can feel deep self-trust and still wrestle with our doubts and anxieties. It’s not an either-or equation. It’s both-and. That’s the paradigm shift.
The Mind Gets It, But Can You Live It?
“It’s relatively easy to understand this mentally, but living it is another challenge.”
So, how do we embody this shift? The key isn’t to force a total transformation overnight.
Instead, locate one area of your life – or one aspect of your creative life and wholly engage this – feel this. Experience this – over and over from the inside out. Once you have that somatic experience deep in your bones, then integrate it into another area of life. Own it there. Map it. Somatically, feel into it. Then, Let it ripple out into multiple areas of your life.
The Certainty in Not Knowing
“I can know that I don’t know, but I absolutely know that it cannot not work out for the best… then I can sit with any discomfort or other feelings that might arise.“
That’s the actual work. Sitting with uncertainty while holding the deep, unwavering feeling that things are unfolding exactly as they are — in real-time — even if they don’t match our personal timeline, expectations, or agenda.
“If I can drop my personal agendas, especially around timing—that feeling that needs to happen now—then I can be with the process. And when impatience rears up, I tap into breath, presence, and patience. I open. I allow. I notice what I notice. I notice what I’m not noticing. I stay present, and something will shift. As it always will.”
Frustration as a Marker, Not a Problem
Here’s where the real shift happens: frustration is not an enemy. It’s a signal. A signpost.
This is something I recently noticed in real time. This is a simple but profound realization: My frustration was the indicator that I was still early in the process.
When we’re further along, we naturally have patience. We know it’s going to work. But in the early stages, frustration arises because we don’t have that certainty yet.
“If I really take that in, if I own that,“ I said, “it changes my relationship to frustration forever.”
And that’s the practice—stepping into knowing. Not intellectually. Somatically. Embodied. When we’re in that space, we are bigger than whatever challenge we face. We become the container that holds it rather than being consumed by it.
That’s the shift. That’s the work. That’s the invitation.
Can You Allow It to Be Perfect in the Process?
“I am not waiting for everything to be perfect in order for it to be perfect.
I’m allowing it to be perfect in its process.”
That’s the ultimate Self Trust. This deep knowing. Once you step into that, everything changes.
So, where in your life/creative life can you apply this today?
